Happy New Year!

Hello to my lovely readers!

I hope that you all had an amazing Christmas! That it was filled with family, fun, and laughter.  I personally had an amazing Christmas I celebrated with friends and family, and enjoy some great food and even greater company!

2013! I can NOT believe that this year is over already! this has been such a huge year for me personally. I experienced so much growth and I feel that I really came into my own as a person.

I hope that you all had a truly wonderful year, and will continue that streak for this new year as well! My wish for all of you this coming year 2014, is that you reach to make your impossibles possible. I look forward to interacting with you all more and more! I know that I have things planned that I am rather excited about! I plan to be WAY more active in posting!

With that being said I will say ciao for now! xoxo

 

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Confession #9: Babies bring much more than joy

The incredibly adorable Baby Eli and me of course.
The incredibly adorable Baby Eli and me of course.

So I most definitely had a day of personal growth, and although its been a little tough, I feel stronger, and more mature.

When I was 14, I went to the doctors because I was having some really intense pain in the abdomen, I thought maybe it was my appendix, but the pain was on both sides so my doctors were at a loss. They sent me to a specialist who ordered an ultrasound for me. I wasn’t sure what they were checking for, but I drank an immense amount of water, and went through the awkward procedure. When the results came back a couple of weeks later, my doctor called us in and told me I had a very common syndrome among women called PCOS, basically , I have a bunch of little cysts on my ovaries. He said that it wasn’t worth operating to remove them because with time they would just grow back. If I had pain that was any worse to come back and we would see what the next step was. Luckily for me the pain went away, and so did the reality that I had this little syndrome.

Then during my junior year of high school in my Child Development class, we were learning about ways that women could become infertile. To my utter shock and horror, cysts on your ovaries was one of the ways it could happen. When I read this on the handout the teacher had given us, I fought to hold back tears.

I was 16 years old and I might not be able to have kids, finding out at any point in your life that it might not be an option is something that is very hard to realize. Especially when that had always been part of your dream.

As soon as I got a chance to be alone with her I shared this new found imformation with my best friend. She looked at me and shook her head and said “Chey, miracles happen every day, don’t worry about it. Besides even if you aren’t meant to have the miracle, there are so many kids who need to be adopted.” Me being the emotional person I am, I was so upset that she didnt understand what I was going through but I brushed it off and tried to forget about the whole thing. I didn’t even consider that adoption was an option, I was so sure that I could never love a baby that wasn’t mine, I would never be able to feel a connection. That is until yesterday.

A very good friend of mine had a baby yesterday, which is very exciting to say the least. I’ve been a big part of my friends other two kids lives, and she asked me to be at the hospital for little Eli’s birth , which I found to be very sweet. Anyways, she had a C-section and he was born at 12:30, nice and healthy, and to cute for words. Although I wasn’t able to hold him yesterday, just seeing him through the glass I was instantly in love, even though he isn’t my child that protective instinct was very present. When I finally got to hold him and talk to him today, it was there even more so, as I was sitting there holding this new little life, I came to this crazy realization. I could love someone who wasn’t “mine” so to speak, the way I never thought I could, at that moment it was like a light bulb clicked for me, and I have to say I am completely grateful that it did.

Confession #7: It’s time for a change

Hello there,

It has been months since I wrote, and of course I can make excuses, but really I’ve been kind of lazy lately and blogging hasn’t been my first priority. However, as Summer 2013 has officially begun  feel it is time for a change. I have a few months to work on myself physically and emotionally and I am definitely going to take that opportunity. So whoever is out there reading, consider yourself lucky because you are getting a front row seat to a metamorphosis 🙂 I know its going to be a long hard journey but I am prepared.

 

I feel this is just the first step to being who I want to be so here we go.

Forgiving and Moving on: I think everyone has those things in life that stick with them, their let downs or their successes, some stick harder than others. I’m not saying I haven’t had a great number of successes in my life, but I’m the type that holds on to the many let downs life has to offer. I like to dwell on my mistakes,or those of others that have hurt me somehow, and I realized its time to stop!
I have it to good to dwell on people and mistakes. Its time to forgive them for what they may have done, but to forgive myself as well.  So the next post is going to be a letter to the person I hold the most resent towards, I’m letting go now.

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Sorry for the somber post! I don’t plan on being so deep all the time, but I had this epiphany. If I want to write (or at least attempt to write) a sorta kinda beauty blog, then Inside beauty should count for something. Am I right?

With that being said I do have quite a few new products I have purchased over the last few months in the make-up and hair care department. As well as some cool samples I’ve been sent (and links for you to get the same stuff). So stay tuned! I promise not to bore 🙂

Thanks for reading loves,

side note: Please! Please! Please! send me your feedback I want to hear what you think, what you like and what you don’t!

xoxo

-Mixed Beauty